Die Kaiser Permanente, Die!

I miss United Health, I really do. I had this great ob/gyn, she was Finnish and quick and thorough. Exactly what counts in a good gynecologist. Well, at least the latter two. And I could call her office and schedule appointments with her receptionist. Who sat in the next room.

But right now I am stuck with this sub-standard, conveyor belt health provider that is supposedly the bastion of innovative health care. My ass. Kaiser's approach is to centralize their care around cash registers and give you minimal physical access to you actual doctor. To make an appointment you call a cube-farm and they tell you can't get an appointment for another two months and no, you can't see another doctor. It's an inconvenience for me - but what really gets on my tits are all the poor and obviously very sick old people I see stumbling in and out of their facilities whenever I manage a 20 min appointment with my doctors. How do they manage? I'm young and have the resources (and patience) to work around the system - I also have access to the internet, which helps because they're obviously trying to move their client services away from phone-based help. And their ad campaigns? Downright maddening. They say cheery things like "get out and walk 20 minutes a day, it's good for you! Thrive!" This translates, in my mind to - "take care of yourself, lard-ass, because we sure as shit aren't going to help you if you get sick."

Two phone calls and visit to the website and I'm still without an appointment. I finally asked them to have my doctor call me for a referral - I hate to bug her, but the customer "care" people were highly unhelpful. I even had an argument with one about what does and does not count as part of a woman's menstrual cycle.

Oh yes, I can feel the thriving already.

I guess it goes without saying that I have no immediate plans to seek medical consult about my most definitely broken toe. I'm ashamed to say I Googled "broken toe" last night to check out the usual symptoms. Ungodly purple color? Check. Pain and stiffness? Check. Since my nail is relatively unaffected, the toes isn't bend at any weird angles and nothing down there is numb (if only!), I figure there's nothing they can do for me anyway. To help it along I "buddy taped" it to the nearest toe and will avoid yoga poses such as "the toe stand."

Guess it's time for lunch. Going to a happy place...

Aren't baby elephants cute? I think so.