Took the words out of my mouth...

My friend just forwarded this to me:

Obama's campaign would be over, done, cooked, imploded if:

-he used his office to allow his wife to carry narcotics for her consumption on a diplomatic passport.

-he had a scandal where he traded campaign favors for political influence ala Keating 5.

-he picked a Veep with the same skill set and experience as Sarah Palin.

-he called his wife a trollop and c@%t in public.

-he couldn't remember what border Afghanistan was on.

-he kept confusing Iraq with Iran.

-he involved himself in a regional conflict that has no strategic value to this country.

-he surrounded himself with a lobbyist operation of 150 people to manage his campaign.

-he dumped his 1st wife for a 24YO heiress to a beer fortune, committing adultery in the process.

-he had a lobbyist that got him to intercede with the FCC on broadcasting licensing with a potential sex angle involved.

-he was 72 years old with a medical history of numerous occurrences of cancer.

-he was celebrating his birthday with a cake while New Orleans was drowning.

-he was in a Party that has been a governing disaster for the past 8 years.

-he had falsely fingered Iraq for the 9/11 attack.

-he had fellow Senators of his Party publicly worried about his temper and temperament to be POTUS.

-he was caught on camera celebrating his birthday with a celebrity and indicted con artist in some exotic locale.

-he couldn't remember how many houses he owned.

-he violated campaign rules about flying in private aircraft, owned by his wife, at n/c to his campaign.

-he thought rich was making $5MM/year.

-he let Michelle show up for his nominating convention, wearing $280,000 worth of jewels.

-he continued to lie about his VP's accomplishments. particularly on earmarks and the bridge to nowhere.

-he stated that Joe Biden probably knew more about energy than any other person in the US.

-he graduated 894/895 in his class and crash 4 jets while in the military.

If he were running as a Republican, these problems wouldn't matter.

Yeah, like he said.

Housing Woes

In our continuing search for an apartment/house/cottage close to Stanford's campus, Sean and I answered an ad for a cottage ON campus, a four-minute bike ride from the door of my office building, yesterday. Shit.

This is what we found.

And with this dilapidated little hovel, for the bargain price of $1500, one inherits an emphysemic 70 year old man and his ugly dog. Ed, the landlord, lives about 20ft from the front door of the cottage for rent, in a mobile home. Between the mobile home and cottage is one of his workshops. The other workshop is on the other end of the cottage. Not a lot of privacy. But wait, there's more. There's the old, crappy furniture (an Italian leather sofa, a box spring and mattress set, a huge TV) that comes with the rental - seeing as Ed lives in a mobile home, these inheritances are not exactly optional. Yum. Oh, and then there's the circuit box outside - a mess of wires just waiting to explode and take the house with it. And there's no sheet rock, just really old plaster, so you can't hang things on the walls, much less lean against them. I have to admit, the huge walk-in closet lined with shiny silver insulation amused me (if nothing else, one MUST keep their clothes warm), and almost distracted me from the godawful odor in the place. The windows are hanging to their frames by some miraculous power, the heater is at least 50 years old, the bathroom sink sits two feet off the ground and some of the walls are halfheartedly covered in wood paneling. Yep, $1500/month. You couldn't rent that tinderbox out in Alaska for more than $200.

Back to square one - here's hoping the guest house just off campus works out.